Spike the punk cactus

I didn't go out today at all, because it looked horrid out there. Spike has been my loyal companion for about fifteen years now. He's like that Alexa thing. If you have a query, you just ask, though his answers can be a bit prickly. If there was ever an intruder in this flat, I would not hesitate to throw Spike at them, and shout: 'Catch!' (Though I have not told Spike this.)