Please get in the box.......

Him (with attitude): No

Me: PLEASE get in the box

Him: NO

Me: Why not? Everyone else got in when requested.

Him: Good on them, but I'm not getting in!

Me: Why?

Him: I haven't been bribed.

Me: What !!!!!!! What gave you the idea that you should be bribed?

Him: Well when you were sewing on my arms I was watching a TV programme about a BIG monkey in South Africa what was moving to the UK. The nice people from the UK spent time with her in South Africa and bribed her with treats each day to get her to go in to the transportation box. It worked!! So what are you going to give me?

Me: I don't believe it!!!!

Me: (thinks) What about some monkey nuts?

Him: And

Me: And what?

Him: A drink to go with the nuts?

Me: Such as?

Him: A little G&T (with ice and lemon).....on maybe a big one if you are feeling generous (not much hope of that!)

Me: You are having me on!!!!!

Him: Well when you go on your holidays they give you nibbles and a drink on the aircraft.

Me: Well you are not going on an aircraft; you're going in a box, into the post to be transported to Devon. Then to a little boy who may love and care for you or knock the stuffing out of you with his boisterous games!!! So in preparation for all of that you can have your nuts and booze.

Both: Cheers!!