Oops, algo salió mal...

New State of Alarm day 36.
My partner got a motorscooter a few months ago, as a second vehicle would be useful on those occasions when we both have to be in different places, and a second car would be too expensive. We're both insured to ride it, and I was quite keen to do so, having happy memories of having a motorbike back in student days. However, so far I've wimped out on having a go, with my balance issues and general fear of just about anything these days; steps, rocky paths, heights, water, people without masks to name a few. Today it looked so pretty standing there in all its metallic blue shininess that I looked at the controls in depth for the first time, and decided to finally have a go. I do have a brand-new unused helmet with flowers on after all (see extra).
After a few jerky throttle on-off starts, I realised that crawling at walking pace was not going to work, as I could barely touch the ground with tiptoes and wouldn't be able to balance the 150kg machine unless it was properly moving. I called on my teenage biker self for aid, and (semi-)confidently set off down the road at a fair clip, not having to fuss with clutch and gears as it's all automatic on a modern scooter. I stopped at the end of the road to check for traffic (none), was distracted by looking for the enormous mahogany-brown lady (I refer to her as Beryl Cook) who usually displays her wares in a teeny dayglo-pink bikini on the balcony of the house on that corner if there is even a glimpse of sun, and realised simultaneously that (a) she was not there, and (b) the road I intended to turn into involved a very steep left-hand camber as well as being quite a sharp corner. I tried to put my left foot down (my duff leg of course) and not surprisingly my toes wouldn't hold the weight of the bike, which tipped over and landed on top of me. The helmet clanked on the road, and my arm, leg and chest hurt, and I lay there for what felt like minutes but was probably seconds, wondering what I'd broken now (leg again, head again, finger again, arm or ribs for a change?). A nice neighbour came out to see if I needed an ambulance, but I felt ok just lying there not feeling much pain, wondering how to get out of this embarrassing situation. After hearing the crash, my partner ran down the road to my aid, got me up and rode the bike home while I wandered shakily back down the road.
I was more upset by the damage to the previously-pristine scooter than to myself; the rear brake lever which should be straight is now curved at a strange angle, and there are scuffs to all the sticky-out bits (technical term) and the pretty blue paint. The helmet saved damage to my already-damaged head, and the rest was superficial damage to my left knee, wrist, elbow and shoulder, and a massive bruise to my left chest. I felt fine(ish) at the time, but as the evening wore on felt the chest pain more - probably just bruised ribs - it's hard to bend to sit or move in general.
I was more shaken-up than hurt really, and intend to have another go in a few days, but on a straight road and putting both feet down when stationary. I realised too late that I don't have to stay on the seat to do that, and can just slide forward into the footwell space. I will also need to practice shallow corners without a steep slope until I relearn how to ride a bike. I remembered, too late, that the first time I got on my earlier bike as a teen, I shot it straight into a hedge! Doh.