I know you’re in there.

I went up to see them.
I always find myself reliving G’s end even 22 years on. It was traumatic and horrible. By strange, or not so strange coincidence, when I got back home I was looking through paperwork to pass on to the finance man I had rung this morning to help out with the stuff I’ve been trying to sort, and I came across his post-mortem. It was as grim as I remember.
I wondered if I should burn it but still don’t feel able to.
I’m struggling to know which lifetime I’m in. It’s all so jumbled.
At least I have a moment to stop. The relentless engine is idling until the end of next week and I can get to the funeral without fretting and without feeling I’ve got to hit the ground running again afterwards..

Out of curiosity (even though I knew the answer) I checked the bereavement policy. It’s a day allowed for a funeral, 3 days if it’s a close family member (including a partner!!!). In this case it would be deemed a day. I find it hard to believe and then impossible to hear the messages of ‘we care about wellbeing ‘.