Japanese Toilet Humour

Arrived in Tokyo today. The Japanese must be very disappointed when they visit the UK and don't find all these useful features on our toilets. My photo shows the arm adjacent to the toilet which has the following features - seat warming, spray for the rear area, spray for the front area, flushing sound to disguise certain noises, powerful deodoriser.

The seat warming function was very much appreciated considering the cold temperature in Japan. I'll not comment on the usefulness of the other functions!