A close run thing

The long delayed final of the Scottish Cup 2020. Our favourites, the glorious and illustrious Heart of Midlothian up against the team beloved of fan bhoys and glory hunters across the globe, the quadruple triple chasing Smelltick.
After a bright opening period (3 minutes) we were well on the back foot and lucky to be only two goals down when we trudged off at half time. But after half time, the "script was ripped up" as the famous JTs levelled the game and thrillingly took it to extra time. Once again, the Celts got their noses in front as Hearts perennial bogey man, the well described "Thumb" Griffiths, stole what looked likely to be the winner. But it wasn’t to be, for this Hearts team have spirit and self belief aplenty. An equaliser from the fans new favourite, young Josh Ginnelly, and suddenly we were facing the lottery of a penalty shoot out. And lo, after we’d netted three times, Ryan "lachrymose" Christie had his shot saved! The game is ours to lose now. All we need is to put the ball into the onion bag twice and our name is on the cup. C’mon the Hearts!!!
Then I heard a strange noise. It sounded like knocking. And it seemed to be coming from the almost empty stadium. Then I realised - it was the sound made by two knees and seemed to be coming from our next penalty kick taker, Stephen Kingsley. That’s not good, I thought….

Some time later I heard that those Frenchies were up to their old tricks, closing the channel ports. This was on the pretext of keeping the newly discovered killer zombie virus strain away from their shores, but of course, actually trying to starve us into submission and derail the Brexit talks which were going too strongly in our favour. Ha! We’ll eat our own langoustines if we have to. I do take it they can be deep fried somehow. Do they have bones?