This Going In Between

How could I know that You are calling for me? I did not hear You calling that early Sundaymorning as You passed away. I did not hear You , feel You calling. Neither with my outer nor with my inner ear. So it could not have been a matter of knowing or hearing or feeling with my senses. And still today I feel that unrest. This inner feel that You are calling me. I have to stand up and walk and go over to visit You.
This Sunday afternoonwalk is a kind of Going-In –Between. From here under our Guardian Oaktree over to there under Your Great Magnolia Tree.  I just walk down this Gardentownhillside at the foot of the Sollingforest and cross the River. Then following the opposite riverbank I enter the gate of the cemetary. From there my uphill way starts again.
Not too steep but long enough to take a deep breath now and then. And there we are:  Your Great Magnolia Tree brings a silent salute. Though there is  no wind  today Your Red Candle is out. Fortunately I brought a new one to light.  That feels good. Peacefull and Quiet. I stay upright for a long time in search for words to pray. Then You whisper this song Mischa learned to sing during one of our many unforgettable travel-hollidays, attending that highly inspiring musical Summerfestival in Villach.
The song was written by Ernst Ekker, an Austrian poet and writer under the title of “The Tree of Life ”. It was written in German and here I will translate some Lines:
The Tree of life is the Tree of songs/The Tree of songs is the Tree of laughing/ The Tree of laughing is the Tree of lamenting/The Tree of lamenting is the Tree of Questioning/The Tree of questioning is the Tree of Knowledge/The Tree of knowledge is the Tree of wisdom/The Tree of wisdom is the Tree of Love/The tree of love is the Tree of Life.
Each of us is a twig of this Tree in her or his deepest inner self in the same way as our Oaktree and Your Magnolia. In gratefulllness for this golden gift I finish my meditation to return on my way back home. Or, was I really already there before I started this going in between?