We Can Do It!

This bus shelter sign based on the famous We Can Do It poster calls attention to a “Senior Loneliness Line” for people who don’t have a friend they talk with.

Fortunately I have friends I talk with, and today was my weekly video chat with Margie. Today she was remembering her father, who for many years worked as a New York City taxi driver. “He had the kindest spirit of anyone I ever knew,” she told me. “Such a sweet nature he had. My son Andy is a lot like him.”

“But your mother wasn’t ever pleased with him, was she?” I asked, remembering stories Margie has told me. 

“I’m probably not fair to my mother. I think she felt if she didn’t drive him, he wouldn’t make enough to feed us; he was so easy-going. He worked nights because he said it was how to make good money, but my mother thought he would do better if he worked days. If he came home in the morning with a little less money than she expected, she would accuse him of buying expensive meals for himself, or pulling over to take a nap instead of looking for fares. She could go on and on, accusing him of things he would never do. But he never argued with her, never tried to defend himself or explain. He’d just wink at me—we had a very strong non-verbal connection—he’d give me a knowing wink and a smile and walk out of the room without giving my mother the satisfaction of an argument. She would get so mad at him for that! He just acted like she was part of his fate in life. People then didn’t think about divorcing.

“Their relationship improved when they retired and moved to Florida. He got a job down there as a bookkeeper, and she sold women’s clothing in a department store. That was the early fifties, times were better, so they had more money than they’d ever had in their lives, and no kids to spend it on. They bought a little two-bedroom bungalow with a garden out back, and they were really happy for a few years. They could walk to the ocean. He didn’t live very long after they retired, but I think those were their best years.”