Wednesday's painting...(artwork)

...Yesterday. My eye hospital appointment.

I hadn't let on the last few days how much I didn't want to go. I was stressed over everything possible about it. The distance. The nighttime driving coming home. Crossing the border from Wales into England. Checking the rules about attending hospital appointments on the Welsh government site. Checking the eye hospital's site about whether to attend or not, since my appointment was sent out just before all these upgrade lockdowns. The eye hospital site said if you have an appointment with us, then attend it, do not cancel. Having every negative thought under the sun. Fighting all this mental stuff and more.

And then on Sunday when my Australian daughter Skyped, I talked/ranted/went on non stop for over an hour that I didn't want to go, that the hospital had a bad rating on one site for Covid, etc etc etc...I was trying to convince myself to go, and I was half convinced I was going to be turned back, despite it was a hospital appointment.

My poor daughter was falling asleep with me ranting I wasn't going to go with every argument I had at my disposal. 

So, I knew at this point on Sunday I was going to have to change my attitude if I had any chance attending that eye hospital appointment on Tuesday. And I was still hoping we would get a bad snowfall so I was unable to attend.

It wasn't easy. This kind of thinking couldn't continue. It certainly wasn't healthy for me. With every negative thought or argument with myself I had to put a positive thought in its place. So I was doing 2 days of this continuously.

Come Tuesday morning, a beautiful sunny day. That bad weather snowfall I was hoping for let me down...

So I did all my precautions, got everything together. And got on the motorway. My early morning driving practice last week had stood me in good stead. I was confident with my driving (I have done virtually no distance driving in this new car since lockdown in March). Well. Not so much as confident, I don't think that is the right word, but I went back to my usual automatic mode that we all have after a lifetime of driving.

I was shocked at the amount of traffic on the motorways. Lorries and wagons moving goods, well yes, but all these private cars like mine?

Got to Liverpool, the tunnel was fine. I had been worried I might get turned back or questioned because I use my FastTag to get through the tunnel, and that obviously shows to the computer that I live in Wales.

Got into LIverpool and the vicinity of the hospital. No parking for me, so I had to go in search of a parking space. Again I am totally shocked at the amount of buses they have (practically all our buses, in Wales, have been cancelled), yet there was bus after bus after bus going past me. I am literally opening my eyes in wonder. So many people, some wearing masks, many not, some socially distancing, some blatantly not. So I had to wear my face/mask protection in the street on the way to the hospital. I hadn't wanted to do that so early because I knew I was going to struggle to keep my mask on in the hospital for the length of time I was going to need it on (my asthma, but I still wear a mask for my protection, and I took several spare ones, so I could put a fresh one one when needed, and sanitising face wipes to clean my face and hands between each change of mask).

There was a nurse at the eye hospital entrance and she took my name. Oh by the way I had made a sign with my deafness etc and some more details on the back, to make it easier for all. I had done it in a rushed 5 minutes before I had set off. This will be my art contribution for today with my name blacked out, I can see how maybe to improve it a bit better, but it worked fantastically in the hospital. I had it on display in front of me at all times between the different people I saw, and different name calls which I have no chance hearing anyway, but in these mask wearing times I might as well be blind and deaf for knowing what is spoken and asked of around me.

To cut a very long appointment short in terms of words, and I would love to describe the positivity (and hilarity, there were senses of humour too) of this visit at St Paul's eye hospital (but I would probably be writing a short book if I did). So I will say this.The whole eye appointment was kind nurses who all had the time for you (they didn't before Covid, it was all rushed and mad and no one explained properly and I was left bewildered with the pre Covid appointments). Sometimes I had two nurses in attendance because of my deafness with them trying to explain. But everyone explained carefully every test and step of the way. They were doing this with all patients. Not just me, because usually eye patients have carers for helpers and that wasn't allowed in these Covid times. The specialist was brilliant too. I cannot talk highly enough of the care and consideration at St Paul's Eye Hospital. I would actually go as far as to say, that for me as a deaf person, that this was the best visit ever at St Paul's Eye Hospital in all the 20 years plus I have been attending there.

Driving home in the Liverpool rush hour traffic in the dark and headlights and motorways was a doddle. I feel okay about driving again.

My eyes. I do have some problems and the specialist prescribed some new stuff. I see them again in 6 months time. But will I these Covid times?

I would like to say this. You need to attend your hospital and specialist appointments despite the fear mongering on the news etc. Project fear takes over with these continued enforced lockdowns. Especially with those of us who live on our own and have no contact with others. I need my car to get about with being mobility impaired, and I need my eyes in a condition that enables me to drive.

It was a very good and positive day yesterday. I have blacked out my name, obviously, and I will redesign it a little, but it was simple and immediately effective. My piece of graphic design for today!!!