Stomp

Work heavy so I dived out for a 10 minute foray to splash and stomp down the path at lunchtime.
I rang Ally to tell him that I’d been in touch with the buyer and he was angry on my behalf that the guy had beaten me down on the price because Ally had confirmed it with him for me beforehand. I simply hadn’t felt up to putting up much resistance and Ally feels he was taking advantage and was pretty annoyed. I was upset when I put the phone down, realising he was right and upset that I hadn’t stood up for myself a bit more, knowing I didn’t have the wherewithal to wrangle in the wake of all the years of huge investment that has just been filling an emptiness and was a futile, stressful, sad effort to keep a feeling of connection that was lost over 8 years ago. Bloody Hell. In the end, of course, none of it matters. Not a jot. What matters is long gone. What I did feel grateful for was Ally’s anger. It was just nice to feel someone rooting in my corner. It can all feel a bit lonely doing this stuff and hearing his annoyance made me realise how beleaguered and worn down I had become.