Claws Out.

This is me in Black and white again. We have been doing some Low key work which was fun. I like this photo.

I am knackered, been high for a few hours now and Dean swung by which was alright. Things are a bit confusing. I feel distant, like Becca's mad at me but even then I don't know if I am okay with it or not. I dont have the mental capacity or patience to be with someone who is going to be secretive about their problems, or ones that have any major ones, I am done life saving for the liars and depressed. I am too tired of fixing things in my own life, to look after theirs.

It is self harm awareness day, and as you know having been through self harm for a good year, and even before that around the age of 14/15 I feel I should say something.

Last year was really rough for me and I have made an utter state of my arms and legs as many of you will have either seen, or been told about, by either me, or somebody else. I only have one thing to say about it, at the time I didn't regret them, for a good year I didn't regret them, and I am not ashamed of my scars, but now I do regret them, because when you have to think, to roll your sleeves down when you're at work in case you physically scare customers, it is not nice. Especially when it was a form of self release to make you feel better, It's horrible feeling even worse after using your only trump card.

It is a form of regret you can't get your head around. And sometimes you want people to see the cuts and scars, so you can pour it all out to someone, to get it off your chest, explaining why they are there on your skin, but you immediately regret it entirely.

I am really high, and quite upset. So I am going to go, happy blipping.