Alternate Reality

Last week of psychiatry placement - one I’d been looking forward to for a while! Not least to get to see Mum at work - felt so proud to watch her do her job, caring for some of the most broken-hearted people.

Patients are often stereotyped when they arrive in ED, having taken an overdose after an argument with their boyfriend. Their presentation is put down to a personality disorder - low priority compared to the “real” emergencies. But what is unseen is the life that led up to that moment, for that patient who grew up with an absent Dad and an emotionally unavailable Mum. That their thought patterns are based on lived experiences of everyone who loved them walking out - so a “small” argument can reinforce the belief that they are unloveable.

And the scars of self-harm may represent much more than seeking attention; for some patients that habit is the one thing they feel they can rely on. For others, it creates a reason to care for themselves.

It’s so easy to look on and judge another person for their “lack” of resilience. But the more I listen, the more I hear a very common denominator - growing up without a love they could depend on.

So today I count my blessings to have a family whose love I have never doubted. How differently things could have been to be in someone else’s shoes. Our duty and privilege must be to extend that love to those who have been bereft of its safety.