A room with a view

.......of sorts, anyhow. We are now in a side room off ward 11, which incidentally isnt the ward hub was on when he last stayed, it is in the older part of the hospital, so very different to the room we had yesterday, very small a bit dingy and tired....hub hates it, he said to me
"I deserve to die in a better place than this cupboard" :-((. Ive made noises in the hope they can find another alternative but not overly hopeful. Todays blip is a very different view to yesterdays too!! It does look like home is no longer an option for is, unless something miraculous happens!

We both managed a few hours sleep as we were shattered I think despite all the comings and goings, the air mattress constantly adjusting buzzing away, the IV bleeping, the schlurring of the water vapour oxygen.....think you get the picture :-/

Docs been to see hub, no change, antibiotics 48 hour course not finished yet, so giving him every chance to turn this around, but its a 1 in 10 apparently.....he might just be that one though, but to be honest, its looking less likely to me as the time drifts on. In the long run, with whats yet to come with the cancer, there is a part of me that wants to save him from all of that, therefore this might be the lesser of two evils :-( but we are not in control sadly.

Daughter and sis in law came today, they were brave girls and pulled up their big girl pants, in front of hub anyhow.......not quite so much when the 3 of us were saying our goodbyes when they were leaving, but that was allowed.

I now have a change of clothes and stuff for a shower......todays extra is the preferred postion for hub, he likes to have a hold of either my hand, arm or leg......at all times pretty much, a bit back breaking, but am finding ways to make it easier as you can see.

No doubt another long night ahead, will probably try and catch up on your journals a little to keep me occupied, no tv so need to do something, finding I cant concentrate on reading :-/

I asked the nurse about duration etc......but already knew the answer really.....how long is a piece of string?!!! So long as hes comfortable and not in any pain, its bareable, just.

Hope you are all safe out there in the big wide world!