Our baby and her babies.......

We were never going to be Grandparents, then plans changed. The two lads are our greatest joy and the demise of any savings we may have had.
A happy day, egg hunting, football and then rugby on the TV. 

A couple of short tales. The unit was on board the Rusty B, plodding through the Mediterranean with bored Bootnecks infesting the thing like a plague. We had to find things to keep our sense of humour going, that meant annoying the sailors and “proffing” permanently borrowing any Naval items left in a removable place or condition, ANYTHING!

One of our main preoccupations was queueing for meals. We were finely honed at the patient art. With 1500 men on board the queue for lunch would start at the galley then snake up and down ladders to the chain deck, around that then back again. I had a brilliant lunch, a piece of tray baked chicken pie that was amazing. Being a polite creep, always up for another serving, I went up to the Chief in charge of the galley and said, “Thanks Chief, that chicken pie was magic.”
He smiled, looked at the cooks and said, very loudly, “That chicken had four legs and floppy ears Royal!” Oh very bloody funny. 

The Royal Marines had chefs, we always did have, until one day during an inspection by a senior officer there were two chefs, side by side, in full blues and white gear. The officer looked at the first chef and asked, “What do you do?”
“I’m a chef Sir.”
“Chef, we don’t have chefs in the Marines, we have cooks!” Moving along the line he asked, “And what do you do?”
“I’m a cook Sir.”
“How long have you been a cook?”
“About 20 seconds Sir.”

Finally, and this is apocryphal. 
A young sailor who was a mechanic in the engine room, was sitting on the engine room grating in the heat and horrendous noise practising his quick draw with a right angle torch. Spinning it on his finger, then sliding it into his pocket. After a few draws he realised an officer was standing behind him. 
“G’Morning Sir, can I help you?”
“No!!!! I’m the Captain!!!!”
“Shit, who’s steering!!!”