The Public Footpath

The trouble with the Public Footpath
is that it’s where all the public go
and if you’re shy,
too shy to even say hello,
you need a route
off the beaten track
but there are nettles out there
and aggressive sheep
and a sign saying ‘Keep Out’
and it’ll be all swampy
and there might be crocodiles
and probably alligators
who will swipe you with their tails
and then gobble you up,
though this being Wales
perhaps the presence of alligators
and crocodiles is unlikely,
but how can you be sure. Oh no,
here’s a crowd of hikers
(two adults two kids)
coming towards you.
Too late to make a break for it.
You can do this. It’ll be over
in a whisper
(far less than a while).
As they pass
put on a brave face
and flash them a crocodile smile.