The future is here in Cornwall......nearly

The Cornish Jet Pack, being tested here by your correspondent, is an innovative piece of design. Fearlessly numb nuts got ready for tests but cried off when wind conditions, flatulence turbulence was out of limits following a breakfast of two pasties.

Further trials are expected; however we may need to apply for more funding as the launch vehicle, here seen super-glued to our horror struck volunteer, cannot provide enough power to shift his carcass from gravity’s awful suck. Despite pressing lots of buttons on the chest mounted control panel and disengaging his green umbilical supply line, he was unable to achieve vertical, horizontal or downwards movement. This may have been due to overzealous application of super-glue by the Garden Fairy. His flying suit remains attached to the launch vehicle. 

We remain confident of success, the G7 summit bunfight just down the road has banned the use of drones, they said nothing about the use of jet-packs by Bliparrazzi. 


Please have a look at this Youtube video. The Royal Marines are tasked with regaining control of ships attacked by Pirates. A particular problem was always getting men aboard, quickly, quietly and relatively safely. In the past this has been done using helicopters and ropes. Times are changing. A group of jet-suited men can board quietly, drop caving ladders (shown here on his left leg) to the boats and quell any awkward customers while their pals climb the ladders. 

Onwards and upwards as they say. RM Jet suit