As it happens you are looking for That Thing. Nowhere to find. You must have put it in a special place to retrieve it easily if needed. But where may that be? I know its better to stop and wait for a more relaxed opportunity. Perhaps looking for something else and than suddenly. Hello there we are. I know some things can play hide and seek very well. Most times I win. But only if we Have Seen each other quite recently.
Sometimes while searching nervously thoughts come in about a friend who is doing that every day, all day long. Cant find anything anymore. His wife tells he gets angry and hopelessly insecure. They still live together in their own home. For how long can I deal with this ordeal, she says. Then I decide to let it go, focus on journalwriting. F….you Bloody Thing, I do not need you. Not now anyhow.
There are really important things or beings you miss, will never find back. In the way you usually search. You do not know how to let Her go. How do you finally accept the reality of the transitoriness of things and the finiteness of life. Can you just think and decide that? Irrespective of what you feel? Sometimes a lot of time has to pass. But for now I cannot even imagine that I could ever say: WellMyDearestLove thatsit. I’m over it. Ready…
On the contrary, what I would like most is to recollect beautiful memories, rework the difficult ones, learn from half-forgotten experiences, finding unexpected possibilities. In short reconstruct new perspectives for sharing an unknown impossible happiness without Your palpable presence. Honoring the Sunny energy of Your Love. Wouldn’t that be the Real Thing to find one day?