Just My Way To Play With Words

This might be called my daily exercise in writing. Perhaps sometimes a bit creative I hope. But I ask myself if I really feel in the right mood to move my fingers freely over the keyboard. Like you would freewheel lightly on some music instrument. Most times I have no idea what to write about. Could be simply on my GardenPuttoPicture of today. Or what I have been doing or thinking or experiencing this rainy&windy afterPentecost Wednessday.
When I start I don not have a clue. Sometimes that feels rather scary. I cannot do this. Let me write an excuse and go to bed or see a film. And indeed it always is too late. I should do this in the morning, starting afresh. But also then the problem remains: whatabout? Why make it so difficult? Just make a few lines to characterise your day as that total amateur Blipper that you are.
Why pretend more than that? Quality, eventually creativity. How does that work practically? In a free style more or less. How to overcome this eternal fear and resistance just to express yourself between these lines? Begging G’d and the good Spirits to help me breathe in their silent song of love&hope. Asking for support, consolation and attention. Never mind if this looks like a cry of lonesomeness, like feeling deserted by My Eternal Muse. Let it be.
Ohno, you see, I’m just doing it my way. Dancing in the dark, just before nightfall. Humming some unspeakable words of desire, longing for the fullfilment of an impossible dream. Fortunately there is no bar where I could hang on anymore. No ashtray to fill. No phonecall to an old friend far away. This is just my little exercise in getting in touch with my poetic self. Could just be me playing Patience, sipping my Pommegranate Tea. But its only Me playing with words. Good Night to you all. May you have some soft dreams. Amen.