Momma Turtle

My Dear Princess & Dear Friends, 

Yes, I've changed my opening again. It is just getting too cumbersome, especially now that you have been joined by Fazzy and Shenée. 

I think. Look. I know they have been reading some entries because it is ruining my "live" material. I'll tell them AN AMUSING ANECDOTE and it dies on its arse. Because they have already read it. 

"Yes, I know," Fazzy told me this morning. 

Great. That's about 90% of my amusing anecdote material gone right there*.

Fazzy and me were at the airport again this morning for yet another trip - this time to Nelson, the home of G-Man and OrkneyCaro. It would have been nice to meet up with them too, but sadly there was just no time today. 

We went to the Nelson office and got a lovely reception from the local staff. They were just lovely to us, and played along, and laughed at our sketch and Fazzy totally improvised and made it even better and it was a positive experience with people who are Not Dicks. 

That last part. It seems really hard for some people. It shouldn't be. Just Don't Be A Dick. How hard is that? 

The Nelson Team were NOT dicks. And we left there full of good vibes and with promises to give them additional attention and to take good care of them. 

Fazzy and I were accompanied today by Shenée and Ellie. Both of whom are just delightful company. I am not saying this because one or more of them may now be reading this. I say it because it is true. For example, Ellie came floating into our meeting space this morning, flapping her arms like a prima ballerina.

There were two reasons for this. 1) She just got some really good news about a potential secondment with promotion prospects and 2) "I am sweating my T*TS off," as she put it. 

"I'm just a very sweaty person," she conceded. 

She then proceeded to amuse me. Throughout our subsequent meeting, whenever I looked at her, she was flapping her arms about like a seagull. She is quite hilarious. 

I also bonded with Ellie over the subject of poos, farts and bums. It turns out we BOTH find this hysterical. Shenée and Fazlyn say they do not but of course they are both lying. It is just a matter of time before I prove this.

But there is more to Ellie than farts and bums. She is also a genuine pagan and is quite happy (and in fact delighted) to talk to me about it. As you know, I love this stuff and she is fascinating. Also SHE LIKES WHISKY. I'm bringing out the Bowmore next time I see her. 

For their part, I feel very appreciated by the three of them. Shenée even referred to me as "Momma Turtle" for taking such good care of the three of them today, buying them coffees and snacks and such.

Shenée, if you are reading, you need to know that I have this deep paternalistic urge to take care of you. This does not mean I think you need taking care of. It is just that it is hardwired into my male brain and I cannot stop it. Also ps btw you should totally milk this thing for all that it is worth. 

But then, as we were waiting for our flight home, Fazzy bought me a coffee and an Afghan biscuit and we sat happily chatting together. "See?" I said to Shenée. "Coffee karma!"

I had been trying to explain the concept of Coffee Karma to her as she was insisting on keeping track of how many she owed me. "It doesn't matter," I told her. "Because we all share and buy for each other and it all balances out."

"Actually," said Ellie The Big Pagan. "It's the Rule of Three. What you put out into the world, you will receive back threefold."

I looked around the table. At my three lovely friends.

HOLY EFFING ESS IT'S ALL TRUE.

I shared a taxi with Fazzy on the way home. When he dropped her off, I helped with the bags and got huge hugs from Haniah and Zaydaan. "UNCLE SYMON! UNCLE SYMON!" they said, and clung to me. 

I feel so blessed and so happy. It's like this whole happy, Fazzy family that we've created here. I can't believe I am part of it sometimes. 

S.

* Fazzy, Shenée and Ellie. If you are reading this, then these are some older entries that my friends seemed to enjoy:

Backpackerland
Nobody Likes A Pooer
I Stayed in Edinburgh
Come Dancing
Generation RX
Every Whisper of Every Waking Hour