Reaching…

I love this little chap. He’s so entertaining to watch as he balances and leaps around the bird feeders to get at the nuts.
Sometimes his feet slip and he has to recover quickly. He always does.
Somehow.
Surrendering to the fall and recovering with ease.

I wish I had the agility that he displays. Yesterday I felt I was slipping in all directions and I had nowhere to grasp onto.
My hands just grabbed emptiness and there was nothing I could do to stop the falling. The more I tried to stop it the worse it became. Spiraling downwards.

Sometimes, we just have to go through the chaos. Let go of the sides and surrender completely to it. Because on the other side is where something magical lies.
But we can’t get there without giving in to the chaos.
Holding on just keeps us wrapped up within it.
Resistance just prolongs the intensity and often makes it worse.

I have a sense of something beautiful on the other side. I’ve been shown glimpses of it. That, in itself, can be frightening.

Questioning if I’m deserving.

A very human thought which is pointless and self defeating.
Beauty came into my life and the chaos is just part of the journey to receive all of it.
I have to be willing to surrender though.

These words today feel very chaotic, but I guess that’s just where I am right now.