Cahors
I thought I’d be alright working today.
Bit of a mistake.
Even after all this time it is hard to know how to negotiate these anniversaries.
I muddled through until I felt trapped in a Teams training in the afternoon.
Curiously, for a training that was supposed to be focused on addressing power, privilege, prejudice, bias, I ended up feeling violated and shamed and it felt abusive.
It all disintegrated after that. I struggled to compose myself enough to leave the place I was working in. I cried as I drove, I needed food because I’d not had the chance to do any shopping since getting back and then struggled round the supermarket and grabbed a pizza that I ended up burning.

This is a bottle that has survived from the funeral. Quite some vintage now.
When it came to getting some wine for the wake I had gone to the supermarket and seen these bottles of Cahors on special offer. It seemed such a strange coincidence. We had rarely come across it in this country after discovering it as our ‘first love’ when we took that first trip through France. Heading south after the ferry crossing it was such a sense of adventure to travel as far south as we could on that first day and pull up in a vineyard and unwind sampling the local vintage and soaking up the atmosphere.
Tonight seemed to be the night to drink that last bottle, well half of it anyway.