Let's talk hangovers

Cheeky self-portrait with the fisheye before Shane claims it for Easter.

So in this blip I won't talk about how shitty this self-portrait is or how my day was. Instead, It'll be about hangovers (which I incidentally had).

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People talk about hangovers, but no one seems to mention how bizzarely different the ways they manifest are, and not just in terms of severity. I have found that (in my own personal experience) most hangovers fall into 4 types:

The Natural Disaster: Copious amounts of alcohol were had, it's only natural this is about to happen (except freaks of nature like Dave. I hate you Dave). You wake up with an earthquake (headache) and drought (dehydration), you go to the toilet trying to empty your bladder and bowels creating typhoons and tsunamis in the process. You go about drinking a ton of water and try to find something to eat for breakfast (This almost always involves a full English, or some of its constituents). After a bit it clears up, well mostly anyways, but you still have that nagging hangover-y headache (or not depends on the severity). This is what I think most people mean when they say they got a "hangover". It's the standard, so to speak.


The Spanish Inquisition: You start your day rather surprised, there is no hangover despite the massive amounts of alcohol you consumed last night. You're not "still drunk" either. You feel genuinely fine. You go about your day, possibly going to work or uni or just chill with your mates if it's a weekend. And then it hits you with the force of a thousand suns and you're now feeling awful, and a more "mental" kind of awful. It sticks around for a bit and it just nags you constantly. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
(I called this Delayed Onset Hangover before, but I like The Spanish Inqisition better)

The National Rail: This is somewhat similar to The Spanish Inquisition, in how it's more "mental" kind of hangover. It starts like a normal hangover, but then comes and goes with no clear schedule to speak of. It'll just hit you in the face like you're standing in the middle of rail tracks everytime it feels like it. It's super annoying and it just makes for an awkward day.
Side Note: My expirementation suggests that this type of hangover directly correlates with consumption of Jagerbombs. Sample size so far is 2, so not quite conclusive.

The Holocaust: You wake up feeling like you have just been punched, kicked, tortured, you name it. This will last the whole day, you can't just "get better" by eating or drinking , you're staying in bed and that's that. You'll remember NOTHING about last night, and your phone suggests a few phone calls have been made, which you shouldn't have. Several "survivors" who (claim to) have intact memories of the night try and reconstruct what happened. They all come up with slightly different perspectives to what happened, but the general consensus is that you were really really really fucked. There is always that twat who will make up shit about you fingering a girl in the club, and everyone will pretend to believe him despite the fact that this is clearly not true.

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I think the darkroom is making me a bit mad.