Señor Duckee Kwak, allegedly.

We are getting close to the commencement of the Alternative Olympic Games (AOG). Preparations at all levels are ongoing but were ratcheted up a notch with the arrival, from their Columbian base, of the Water Sports security detail. Immediately after arrival at Narita Airport, Tokyo their leader, Duckee Kwak, took a small group of his chaps on a fact and consignment reconnaissance.

It appears that their “baggage,” released by parachute, moments before landing has gone astray. While Duckee tested the water his chaps, Ernesto and Cheekee, went in search of the plastic wrapped 21kg packages. 

Questioned by media sources Duckee would only respond, “Nada commento! Move or I will fluff myself up and go loco.” The head of the Colombian cartel syndicate Team, Señor Hugo Chavez, declared that Ducklomatic Impunity would help his men secure the lost packages and ensure a safe games for the people of Tokyo, he was accompanied by several heavily tattooed Japanese men all surprisingly missing a pinkie finger.  

Moments after this picture was taken there was a flurry of activity as several heavily armed Duck hunters surrounded the lake and commenced firing at the low flying ducks. Despite hurling invective the ducks were hammered, gathered up and taken to a nearby restaurant where they were stripped of their uniform feathers and weapons. This led to a rush of local families to munch on the delicacy, it is rare to find such exquisite tender duck at this time of year. Señor Chavez was whisked away in a motorcade, chased by Japanese Police. It is a capital offence to bring drugs into Japan, as Duckee, Ernesto and Cheekee have discovered to their cost. 

More on this amazing start to the games once we have finished this excellent meal and sake.