Our friend.

Do you think he knows his fate as he sits on the supermarket shelf? Watching us pass, hoping to be picked by someone with a nice healthy diet.

We all need him daily, without him we'd be in the s**t (literally). His is a job so vile we don't even like to talk about it, but does he ever get thanks for it?

Thank you TP for everything you've done, at halloween when you helped the kids dress up as a mummy, for the cardboard tubes you provided for our palm tree, for helping out that time I stood in something squishy, for providing nice soft strips of paper that time I forgot to buy hamster bedding. But most of all thank you for...... that other job you do, you know the one I mean.