Fix You... Revisited

"Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...


Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you."

One year ago today, a terrible thing happened. I didn't even know them personally, but it was terrible. On April 20, 2008, early in the morning, three kids from my school were driving from a party, lost control of the car, and hit two trees. Jordan, the driver, was a senior, my age, getting ready to graduate in a month. Sydney, a junior and Jordan's girlfriend, was in the front seat, her twin sister Aubrey in the back. Aubrey walked away -- Sydney and Jordan were pinned between the car and the tree. On Monday morning, the 21st, they both died.

I remember school that day. No one talked. For the first time in my life, in a school of 1,400 kids, there was absolute silence. It was during News Magazine that Mr. Raiff, our principal, came on the loud speaker and said both Sydney and Jordan were taken off of life support -- they were brain dead.

And there we sat, 20 some juniors and seniors sitting at computers, on the couch, around the editing table, and life stopped for a moment. The silence was broken by tears. Everyone cried. I had only known who they were and said hi in passing, and I cried. Suddenly, the halls lined with kids holding one another and crying. No one knew what to do. Teacher's stood in the halls. Some cried. Some held those that were crying. For a moment in time, for the first time, neither teachers nor students knew what to do. Everyone just sat, stared, cried. I'll never forget that day. It was such a blur. Everything moved in slow motion. Everyone thought "what about Aubrey. They were twins. They were more than sisters. They were each other's second half."

Friends bought and sold these bracelets to commemorate them. All the seniors got them and wore them to graduation along with white ribbons we pinned to our gowns. When it came time for them to call Jordan, his older brother walked across the stage and accepted his diploma. Everyone stood up and clapped and cried. We clapped and cried together as a class for several minutes, the whole crowd of family and friends joining in.

I had to use "Fix You" again, because I remember being in calculus that day, just a few periods after they had announced Syd and Jordan had died and we weren't doing anything. We had a worksheet but no one was doing it, and Mr. Roth wasn't telling anyone to work -- he would have had Jordan in class the period before. He put on a Coldplay radio station and this song came on. At the time, I wondered "why would you put this song on?! This is a terrible song choice for the moment. It will make everyone even more sad!" But we sat and we listened. And then, we told stories about them, and for a moment, there were smiles.

RIP, Jordan and Sydney. Everyone down here still misses you greatly.