Downsizing and Tosh.

The Hedgepig is off on her travels, tart! No sign of her for a month or three, but in preparation for her return we thought a new condominium, as the ‘Murrikans say, would be in order. The one I built last year has seen better days, it fell apart as I picked it up. Some may notice the chimney, made from an old milk bottle container spout. Her new premises come fully furnished, six handfuls of hay stuffed in the living accommodation, which is vented and the entry, or mud room has been prepared for any visitors. 

These both come from a compilation I have made, stories/dits from Once a Marine, Always a Marine. In Marine parlance a “Nod” is a recruit. When given an order or directive the recruit will compute the instruction in his tiny befuddled mind then Nod understanding to the instructor while uttering, “Yes Sgt.”

A young Nod at Lympstone (Commando Training Centre) was running from the armoury back to the grots after running some errand for the Troop Sgt. In his haste he ran past a young 2nd Lieutenant from some Infantry Regiment or other without noticing him.
Outraged the officer stopped the Nod and said, “Don’t you salute Army Officers in the Royal Marines?” To which the Nod replied, “We don’t have Army Officers in the Royal Marines Sir!!!!” And ran off. 

(I knew the main hero in this one, big man) It was the summer of 1965; elements of ‘G’ company 41 Commando and the climbing wing, were billeted at the Fleet Air Arm base near Penzance, (Culdrose) while being trained in the gentle art of cliff assault in preparation for that years Royal Tournament. After a strenuous day of climbing one built up a pretty good appetite and on this occasion “Tosh” approached the servery after his evening meal and politely enough asked, “Hey Chief, any gash figgy duff left?”
Back came this reply, "Listen Royal, in the first place I’m not Chief, I’m Chief Petty Officer Chef, in the second place, it is not gash it is second helpings and in third place it is not figgy duff but Manchester steamed roll…..gotttit?”
So “Tosh” replied, “Excuse me Chief Petty Officer Chef is there available a second helping of Manchester steam roll?”
CPO, “Yes there is.”
“Tosh” “Then shove it up your arse!!!”

I last met Tosh on an oil platform, he was running the heli-deck and fire crew. In reply to my “What are you doing out here Tosh?” He answered, “Money for old rope lad, money for old rope.”