KELLY NEELAN IS INNOCENT!

Nërp is a regular viewer of the UK Soap Coronation Street.
I suspect that he shares one of Wilson's defining characteristics – an inability to tell fact from fiction.
Recently he's got in into his head that one of the characters, Kelly Neelan, is in grave danger.
In the show she has just been found guilty of murder – although the audience knows that she is in fact innocent, and the real killer has been released due to his expensive defence team.
Nërp cannot bear to see injustice, and since he believes the drama is 'real' I'm terribly afraid he may do something ill-advised.
Something like springing Kelly from jail, or tracking down the 'real' killer, Cory, and threatening him with his laser death ray until he makes a full confession.
The actor who plays the part of Cory is by all accounts a very nice chap, so this could all end badly – *very* badly…
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HEADS UP:
Today it is 100 days until Xmas – but it's only a few days until that other big day in every anteater's life, Talk Like A Pirate day!
Wilson has prepared a celebratory free gift for you to print out – but please don't expect too much…