Your mission, should you accept it Mr Bond........

Mould. A furry substance growing on food or organic matter. Yeah right! What about that grungy stuff that you find in shower cabinets and around sinks? Well that’s mould as well, annoying mould because it’s so visual and makes your bathroom look grubby. 

There is a fix, apart from employing a decorator, plumber or that nice old bloke you are married to. 

Using the ubiquitous Stanley knife blade remove the layer of grotty silicone. Beneath it is invariably a layer of water. Dry with a piece of paper kitchen roll. Leave for 24 hours to get really dry, or if you are bored get out the hairdryer/heat gun and spend ages doing what nature will do for you if you have patience. B&Q (other marvels of hardware are available) stock silicone remover. Use this to get rid of the remaining sticky residue. Now apply neat bleach to the affected area. Leave for an hour or three. This will really annoy the spores that are hiding in crevices, ready to come out and annoy you again. Wash away the bleach, allow to dry.

Use a sharp blade to cut a small, read that again, it said SMALL, cut at 45º on the silicone tube nozzle. Yes I am aware that there was originally about an inch of silicone on the gap. That’s half your problem. New nozzles are now available in multi-packs.

Apply a thin line of new silicone, it said THIN. This is the point where usually two things happen. The expert will lick his finger and run the slobbery digit along the silicone, making an expert smooth finish. The home owner will run a dry finger or tool along the silicone, then apply more silicone to the patch they have just screwed up. 

BUT, if you have applied the thin layer of silicone correctly grab yourself a baby-wipe, (Possession of a baby is not necessary in order to purchase baby-wipes) form a small pad about finger tip size and smoothly rub the pad along the silicone in one direction once. Voila, as they say in Turkmenistan, a new seal, professionally finished. 

Serving suggestion; apply neat bleach, gently once a month, mould hates bleach. Do not rub the silicone, let the chemical do it’s job. Remove the mucky nozzle and bin it, apply a layer of cling-film to the top of the tube. When necessary lever out the plug that forms with a flat bladed screwdriver.