La La La

Little A has never been a good sleeper. I have to sit there and sing "twinkle twinkle" repeatedly to her until she falls asleep. Oftentimes I end up falling asleep in her room out of sheer exhaustion. To top that, she started to climb into our bed in the middle of the night. We'd be too sleepy to bring her back to her own bed. However, we really don't get good sleep when she's with us, so one of us sometimes end up camping out elsewhere. As you can see, this is totally a vicious cycle of musical beds - she needs me to fall asleep, and she'll seek me in order to fall back asleep in the middle of the night. I can't sleep with her beside me. Nobody sleeps well as a result.

We half-assedly tried to sleep train her while she was still in the crib, but the holidays totally threw us a curveball. We had given up, or given in, rather.

Tonight, I decide that this has to stop. It'll be better for all of us. So we did our bedtime routine, sang her a twinkle twinkle, and then reminded her that as a big girl she has to sleep on her own. She cried like it was the end of the world. My heart ached when she threw her arms around my neck and begged me to stay. I planted a kiss on her little cheek, said I love you before leaving her again, heartbroken.

I had to carry her back to her bed 6 times before she could soothe herself to sleep.

Gosh I hope I can stick with this, and please someone tell me it'll get better...

(The picture was taken just before bedtime. She had no idea what awaits...)