Sandwich

A sandwich according to a 9 month old:
1.When presented with a lovely neat sandwich usually with crusts cut off and in nice little square or triangle shape, please stare at it like it is an alien
2. Inspected said sandwich and give it a good squeeze to see the contents
3. Deconstruct sandwich in to a million tiny little pieces whilst making sure to cover your entire hands in butter/cream cheese
4. At this point remember to check your ears are still there, rub your eyes and put your hands through your hair
5. Eat each tiny piece of bread by picking one bit up at a time so one sandwich can take at least an hour to eat
6. When finished please indicate by throwing every last crumb on the floor but don't forget one bit must be thrown on to the wall where parents can't see it and therefor cements there just like that bit of weetabix from three months ago
7. Repeat all over again tomorrow