Caterwauling

It has come to my notice that the mean streets of West Lothian have been bedecked with sparkly pompoms and pink feathers, and that the marvellous Mr Broon has been dazzling the neighbours with his glitterballs again.

As we learned last year, he's the secretary (and sole member) of the Bathgate Barry Manilow fan club, but it has also come to light recently that he's the stunt double for Adele, who, as any fool knows, has released something new today. (It could be a song, a loud exclamation, or a discreet burp. I'm not entirely sure.)

Anyway, in amongst all the excitement, he's celebrating something else....it's either yet another round of rhinoplasty, or his birthday. Who nose.