Not mushroom for manoeuvre...

I had a very odd conversation with a girl in the pharmacy today. Her English wasn't terribly good, but she had enough words to tell me that her tummy felt a bit bloated and painful.

After asking her a few questions, I explained that it was probably just trapped wind, but she didn't understand. So I asked where she was from, thinking that if she was French or Spanish, I might be able to tell her in her own language.

She said she was French, so I told her that perhaps her sore tummy was caused by 'vent'.

'Vent? What's that?' she asked.

Blimey, I thought. Her French is worse than mine. So I mimed. I mimed wind. I blew through my face mask. I went woooooo in a sort of windy fashion....but nothing. She looked utterly mystified.

And then, 'Vent? You mean wind?'

I nodded happily, and stopped blowing round the shop, congratulating myself on being a linguistic genius.

'Mais pourquoi?' She frowned. 'How can your weather possibly give me the sore stomach?'



I've decided not to offer my translation skills to the COP26. They'll just have to do without me.....