It's a while since I've been somewhere the social rules are not those of my culture but I knew that visiting a Syrian women's group today I was going to have to play everything by ear. I'd been invited to let them know about the education and employment support services available to them so, knowing that most of them think that with childcare, cooking and housework they already do quite enough work, thanks very much, I'd done a bit of thinking about the pros and cons of paid work outside the home and had reminded myself how recent it is here that women haven't had to resign from work on marriage (for teachers: 1944). 

I assumed it would be a conversation, or a series of conversations, not a presentation but I wasn't expecting when I arrived to find them deeply immersed in making paper lanterns for next weekend's Oxford light festival. Ah well. I hung around on the edges for a while then started taping bits of cane together while I chatted with the person next to me. Suddenly it was announced in Arabic into the hubbub (that word sounds Arabic but is probably Irish) that I was going to talk to them. I didn't, I just asked what their education and employment needs are. There were several requests for Food Hygiene Certificate training, a few for homework support for children and two for English language tuition. The older women with no English at all just smiled. No requests for paid work. As we were talking lunch appeared from the kitchen. I'd had no idea they were preparing lunch behind the scenes. 

More fool me - I should have realised that we were temporarily in Syria.