GRUMBLE ALERT!!!

BEWARE - Porch Pirates.  Or so I recently learnt.  Apparently there's a lot of it rife "Ower the Watter".
A fact I used to mock - on the grounds that it could only happen in a country which regarded lying a parcel near the house and walking away; sometimes without ringing/knocking is considered to be "delivering it".
(I have seen it on various videos.)  IF this bloke knocked it was with a Sponge.  Had he rung the bell, since it plays a tune long enough for me to walk to the front Door, I think I'd have heard it. 

The slow "Amerification" proceeds - in any given week, on the Radio, I hear the word "Skedule" 5-10 times for every "Shedule" I hear.  And now we have leave-on-the-doorstep deliveries.

At about the time of delivery (10:08) There was a short sound, which could have been a single knock. I went into the Lobby ("Hall" to you posh folk in the South and abroad) NOBODY outside visible through window, there usually is if Postman, ergo can't have been a knock.

A guessimetric two hours or so later I decided that it might be an idea to bring the Milk in - and there it was, smiling up from the step and slowly thawing out the frozen Pies therein.  
Into the freezer - SHARPISH.  
One box mixed Steak Pies; one Box "Game πs"  Lumps of Venison, No "Lumps" of Pheasant, Smoked Bacon, Red Onions & Gravy.
Whence cometh the "Snapchat" (?) version. Their π, A. N. Other's PPPP and my Oca. 
;¬)

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Addendum - if there were any instructions, can't remember, they were NOT followed as I'd have said 
"Place behind Bushes to right of front Door."  which s/he obviously didn't.