Float you and the boat you rode in on Smut

I recently heard the song "Cry Me A River" and haven't stopped since. It has now been 8 months and I have filled over 4413 pee jars with salty tears of joy, sorrow, regret, happiness, bacon, elation, fear, worry, asparagus, jealousy, pride, crystal clear Pepsi, lust, envy and love. Now that I have the exact amount in need, all I need to do now is fill a cauldron with said tears, add 3 slightly charred Himalayan infants, arugula, kosher salt, spider sugar and yarn and simmer for 4 years and "Whalah!"