They sell artichokes individually and not by the kilo - good job really. I always end up with a large bag of spiky leaves and stalks, and a considerably smaller artichoke.
Not that I am very good at food (unless I am chomping on it). The People of Facebook are all too aware of how not very good I am at food. I tell them.
I kill pans. I can ruin food just by imagining that I ought to cook it!
The attempt at buns became hot (molten) cross (bloody livid) plastic bowl and dead tea towel (don't ask!) and that was Easter cookery over and done with.

I have a lovely list of suggestions about how to remove thick, black, burnt-on (ok, blimmin' carbonised) dinner stuff from my ever-decreasing supply of saucepans. I am praised for my "Wendy Craig-like tales of disaster," my "perseverance in the face of such obvious crapness adversity, and people worry about my being home alone, in charge of a gas hob...

However, there has been a recent and most exciting (but rather fattening and I really need that extra layer now we're so obviously not having summer - where is the "sarcastic font" when I need it?) development. Joy even! I can make vegan brownies! Yes, I am Queen of the Vegan Brownie. The general demolishing of three very large trays after I first posted the story of my success on F/Book (and there was jubilation and much relief, let me tell you), my reign continues undisturbed. And no one has been maimed, burned or died in the process.

And I can stuff an artichoke.
But I knew that already.

. . .