Blood and Bone and Poop

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

I got such a lovely welcome when I went into work today. I got huge hugs from both Corrie and Ellie and then we went for breakfast together.

We got talking about constipation. Because we are us.

Ellie had a bad bout while she was pregnant. She describes hiding in the toilet for two hours while AJ offered to come in there and help um "pull things out".

"No! Just NO!" said Ellie. Who did not want her relationship to be over.

So she was very concerned as labour approached. She had heard horror stories of post-labour constipation and was determined that it would not happen to her. So she and AJ made "The Concoction", which she drank after delivering Aubrey.

"That it is how it is known in our house to this day," she told me darkly, "The CONCOCTION."

It sounded like a cocktail of multiple laxatives. Plus something to make you wee. "It was FIZZING by the time I drank it," she said. 

The next day she was sitting in the hospital bed, recovering when suddenly. 

Her eyes were wide open.

"I need to poo," she told AJ.

He encouraged her to go. "You don't want to get all backed up like last time," he said. 

So Ellie went to the bathroom/shower. But found that sitting down wasn't helping. 

"Do it in the shower," suggested AJ.

"WHAT?!?" said Ellie. But she was in no position to argue. And so went to the shower and...

And...

And...

"WHACK!" she said. She made it sound like someone dropping a dozen heavy magazines onto the floor. 

"And it was GREY," said Ellie. "It was like this HUGE ELEPHANT POO and I had to call AJ and tell him I just did a shit on the floor."

He encouraged her to "wafflestomp" it down the plughole but to her horror it blocked up the plumbing and the shower started to spill out into the rest of the bathroom.

In the end AJ came to the rescue. "He took piles and piles of paper towel and basically scooped it up. But he didn't put it into the toilet. I was horrified. It went straight in the bin." 

"That poor cleaner!" she went on.

AJ explained that there was no way THAT THING was going to flush plus also, the cleaner would just take away the dustbin bag and it was unlikely they would check the contents. And in short, the experience seemed to solidify their relationship. 

We continued on the subject of childbirth later on and she told me that she was fascinated by the placenta although she did not eat it or bury it in the garden as some people do. Actually, burying it is often a Māori tradition, said Corrie. 

Corrie told me that the word for placenta is "whenua" which also means "land" and so you return your bloodline to the land. Corrie also said that "hopu" means "pregnant" or "sub-tribe" and "iwi" means tribe, but also "bones". 

It's a rather poetic way of looking at the connection between land and blood and people. Ellie continued on the theme - she is as white as it is possible to be, but was brought up connected to Māori culture and it is important to her as well. 

She's currently creating her genealogy and has adopted the Māori approach that family is just the people you love, even if you're not connected to them directly. So stepchildren - like her son Casey - is as much part of her family tree as everyone else.

I don't know about work family. But there is a connection there I think. Maybe not through blood and bone. Possibly through poo. 

S.