He takes after his mother in so many ways

I spent the day at my mums today. The nut was very happy and packed one of his spidermans (spidermen?) His new woody, his new york yellow
cab and his cookie monster to show her.

'I found that red hat* you liked as a kid' says my mum.
'My spiderman hat? AWESOME!!!!' I replied.
'Um.. spiderman? Why??' Questioned my mother
Thus I had to explain that It is hand crocheted (presumably by some random granny) in a very loose sort of pattern. The sort of pattern
that allows one to see out even when it is pulled over ones eyes.Though a sort of weblike structure that as a 3 year old I was pretty sure resembled SPIDER VISION. I had also assumed since it was red and
stretchy the net effect was to look like spidermans mask, although retrospectively I am prepared to admit that possibly the effect was less obvious to external viewers than I had hoped**.

'Oh! That's why out went around for hours like that. I just thoughtyou were a weird kid!!'
When I told the nut I had a spiderman hat he took one look and said 'its a mask' and pulled it firmly over his face

'we should keep it somewhere safe' he said

'Like my room'

Then he skuttled off to be a 'naughty tortoise' like Boris, who was causing trouble upstairs. My brother described a tortoise penis as being like 'a vagina on a stick' which for some reason stuck in my mind. Though thankfully, not literally.


*The red hat had the same mystical properties as my sisters red 70's patterned jumper- it grew at the same pace we did- only I liked my hat, so I was happy I could keep wearing it.

** Much like when I put a pair of pants on my head and put my hair in pigtails (antennae, you understand) and claimed I was a fly (though I
was at uni when I did that so I clearly don't learn). In case you werewondering, the legholes were eyes.