April


(38 years - on my way to leave some of T way back in that far corner where he loved to sit and watch birds - hail wind i was soaked but got there)


(extra - a bit of T in that lovely box - my daughter got it for me for his ashes not understanding what the body weighs and is in size in "ashes" -  but i love it for carrrying a bit with me for these ceremonies - i left a trail of T in the water, and once again marveled at how on earth this could be my beloved - it is all so 'fucking' mysterious.  when i was spooning some out of the Big Box at home i could only think of wonder -)


(extra - and then Karen sent me this she took April anniversary 2020, 7 months before the end- I mean really, look at him! - some wisecrack that is responsible for that look on me Mike - always he came out with the most crazy wild funny odd comments - how the hell can he be just these ashes and bits of bones)


(i know you get it - sometimes I am simply only in the mystery of it all like today.  so i came back to cottage, dried out, played cello and then headed out for another five miles with only wind no rain nor hail - just had a scotch for us, and tea - all is righted ,as right as it can be.)


(more than i normally say but here i am with truth and wonder  - )