History

The thing I want to say upfront, and before I go any further, is that I really I value my friendships. And also that I recognise they are all varied and different. On the one hand, I've had workplace friendships that lasted as long as the contract I was on, yet which weren't in any way shallow or trivial, and, on the other hand, I have one friend whom I've known since I was nine.

And, following on from that, I don't think it's wrong to accept that a friendship can have a natural lifespan. We all move on and change over time, so, actually, perhaps I should be more surprised by the number of friendships that have endured.

I mention all this because if I do lose touch with someone, then I can be quite philosophical about it. Of course, sometimes old friends re-enter your life - or you re-enter theirs - and that can be quite lovely. I'm not saying I ever close the book on a friendship! But, equally - and crucial to this post - I rarely go and seek out erstwhile friends. Friends Reunited never held any appeal for me.

Yet, having said all of that, a couple of years ago, I found myself wondering about an old university friend of mine, and I ended up seeking him out on LinkedIn*. What a lovely surprise it was to see his picture, with his huge and memorable grin. I sent him a message but he didn't reply. Well, fair enough.

I first met Pete, for that is his name, in October 1985, at Liverpool University where we were both Physics undergraduates. He and his friend, Jockey, who was also on our course, were local lads, with wonderful and occasionally impenetrable Scouse accents: "You're going to have to write that down for me", I'd find myself saying, much to their delight.

At a point my life when I had lost my way a little, these two young men would provide a bit of stability for me, even though we rarely socialised. They were just really nice guys who made my life feel a bit more grounded. That said, Pete would occasionally invite to his home for dinner, where his folks were incredibly welcoming. I loved the stories that his father, an ex-docker, told.

Anyway, over the last couple of years, I've thought of him from time to time, and a couple of months ago I sent him a card via the university where he now works. So it wasn't entirely out of the blue when I heard from him earlier this month and we arranged to meet up this evening.

And Lord it was great to see him! Thirty-four years is a long time but I immediately recognised the open and friendly lad who first befriended me in that autumn of my first year in Liverpool. We had a couple of beers in a local bar and then dinner at Papillon, and it was a splendid evening. Plans were made for a follow-up meal in Rusholme.

You know, I don't intend to go around disinterring any other old friendships, and I'm not quite sure what made me seek out this one, but I'm glad that I did.

*Much as hate to admit to ever using that site.