The Ivy Tower

One day recently I noticed that this lamp post has been very successfully colonised by ivy. I have seen many unsuccessful attempts to get ivy to climb up buildings and things but here it has managed to grow up the lamp post like it's a tree. I guess it won't be long before it creeps along the arm of the post and starts blocking out the light.

Today was less stressful than yesterday. I managed to avoid any major conflicts and just get on with my job. I don't mind days like that. I don't think I am introverted, computers are just predictable whereas people are so much harder to manage. When I was 9 years old I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia, which alongside physical coordination and spatial awareness problems mean I struggle to understand and read other people. I am far better than I was but dyspraxia does share some traits with autism which mean that I relate more to logic and reason than to emotions and beliefs. I am known for being overly precise which annoys people but missing apostrophes jump out at me and I can't help but be bothered by mistakes like that. So when I make a mistake myself, I find it hard to let go of. The things that can cause problems socially have made me pretty good at teaching myself how to use software and solving logical problems. The long term impact of growing up less able than my peers at sports, art, drama, music and anything else not strictly academic has left me with chronic low self esteem. It got better as I got older and status was less reliant on sporting ability, plus my skills improved and I am now able to hide the fact I have this condition. But the way I see myself and think others see me hasn't changed so much.

Tomorrow it is a break from my usual routine as I am going to a course on assertiveness in a hotel. Apparently the free lunch is nice! Hopefully after half a day of the course we'll be able to assert ourselves and request the lunch we want. It's a change of scenery of sorts although it's still fairly grim around there. The area has an interesting history though which I will hopefully be able to blip about tomorrow.