The nicest thing...

The nicest thing about bashing one's head against a brick wall is when one stops, or so I'm told.

I've been advised to look each day for something good or positive that I've done, to try to ameliorate the self-loathing that lurks, deep and powerful, at the bottom of my psyche. And so suddenly, I have a way to use Blipfoto!

I used to wear a pouch to carry around my diabetes stuff, phone, wallet, keys and other regular impedimenta. But since lockdown started, I've hardly bothered. Instead I shoved my insulin pens (in the small green Frio); my phone into my left kilt pocket, my tobacco, rivals and lighter into my right kilt pocket; I clipped my Keyes to a belt loop and off I went. This meant I didn't carry spare needles, so I very rarely changed them.

For the first couple of injections, no problem - the needle slips in easily and almost painlessly. But over time, the needle gets blunter, so it took longer to get it into me - and became more painful.

And yet part of my hatred of all things diabetic is the pain of injecting. So why on earth was I exacerbating this pain? Was I punishing myself for being a wimp, or just trying to make the whole situation worse? I don't know. But I do know that today I was helped to a blinding realisation that I could change, without changing my behaviour much - just use carry a bigger Frio which still fits in my kilt pocket, but also has room for spare needles.

So today has hopefully brought three good things:
1. I'm blipping
2. I'm going to hurt myself less
3. I'm going to **maybe** begin to appreciate some of the better things about me - but please $deity without becoming prideful.

And because there are three good things, here's today's music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4gF_siMDRY