There Are Heaps of Rules!

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

"What's happening with 'Maverick'?" asked Caro. "I feel like it has fallen off the radar."

I explained to her that it was being released at the cinema this very weekend but I was not sure if she would want to go because of the One Thing Rule.

The One Thing Rule is the rule that states Caro only wants to do one thing at the weekend. More than one thing is too many things. Only one thing is allowed. And if that one thing is on a Sunday, then maybe not even that one thing because of Caro's SECOND rule - the "Zero Things On A Sunday Rule".

Look, I don't pretend to understand the rules. I just follow the rules.

So my problem was that we were already planning to do one thing this Friday. Manda and El Jefe are coming to our place to watch the Survivor finale with us. 

That is ONE WHOLE THING. 

So I figured "Maverick" was out. But now here was Caro asking. 

She reckoned she could bend the rules and stretch to TWO THINGS this weekend by invoking the "Tom Cruise" subclause of the One Thing Rule. 

It was at this point that Manda texted. "Hey, what's happening with 'Maverick'?"

That was weird. Caro called her back to tell her that this was weird. "Did Jeff install hidden CAMERAS in our place?" she said. 

It was good that Caro and Manda were talking on the actual phone. We needed to confer because booking tickets was difficult. This is because of El Jefe who ALSO has rules. He's an A/V guy. He has to go to a specific cinema* and he has to sit in a specific place in row K. Row J at a push. 

He has to be "in the middle of the middle" so he can enjoy the Dolby Atmos sound and fully appreciate the full screen. 

It sounds like I am mocking, but I get it. I mean, my tastes are not as refined as his, but I do love a big screen and overwhelming sound too. I used to LOVE Cineworld IMAX back in Edinburgh. And yes, if I could manage it, I would seek out the middle of the middle too. 

But on the other hand, if this was not possible then eff it. I think that is MY only rule. The "eff it" rule. 

So you see my problem. Rules make tickets hard to come by. In the end I found seats centre-right on Saturday at noon, which is a bit early but everyone seemed cool with it. 

"HOW centre-right?" I could hear Jefe asking in the background of Manda's phone. 

"SLIGHTLY centre-right," I confirmed.

"Well.... okaaaaayyyyyy," said Jefe. Satisfied that his "Middle of the Middle Rule" was being adhered to.

Christ on a bike. 

If you have looked at today's blip and are panicking, please do not. The diagram above is not actually of the seats I bought. These are three ADDITIONAL seats I got for Mo, Tiger and potentially one other**. 

The actual seats for Jefe, Caro, Manda and me are one row in front and one seat over to the left. We are NEEEEEEARLY in the middle. 

Holy effing ess. This movie had better be good. 

S.

* The Event Embassy in the centre of town. It is where all the Lord of the Rings movies premiered.

** Possibly Craig. My feelers are out.