The realisation of Larry

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Obviously I realised how important he is to me, realised that a long time ago, but I've never contemplated living a life without him - I've never needed to, never wanted to. But earlier I felt the feelings.

I had called him for an hour. No sign. No sound, nor song. Even his wife, Lila, left the nest to come for worms from me & perched in the branch opposite me & told me she was worried too, she emitted a very high, long, drawn out whistle, which in robin speak is 'worry', 'scared', 'unsure'. I've unknowingly studied robins now ever since Larry's father - Larry Legs - I know every sound, every body language, every movement - & it was Lila who worried me.

I had lunch - felt so sick (was feeling ill before anyhow) - went outside, called more, sat on the bench, called & called - nothing. Then as ever he flies in, low to the ground & lands on the bench arm next to me. Oh god. Basically. The relief. I can't begin to tell you. But I'm sure you all will realise!

:) Feathery xxx's (later he flew past me, brushing his feathers against my cheek, then he flew past again, brushing his feathers against my other cheek - he knew!