Today's the Day!

So - today's the day! D-day or F-day or even TITDISMD-day or perhaps Mon-day will do, which if you know any French, roughly translates as MY-day!

If anyone has watched a dieter get on the scales it must look like a dance ritual. You get on once, you look at the figure on the scale, you step off, you get on for a second time, and look again, you step off and just to be really sure, you step on for a third time! You then take the lowest figure that appeared on the scales and THAT is your weight for the day. Oh, I forgot to mention - you have to be completely naked whilst doing this strange ritual!!

But I don't just have any old scales - I have scales that will measure my weight, BMI (body mass index), body fat and body water. BUT the scales have to be programmed first and that in itself requires a degree in intelligence or alternatively MUCH patience. Honestly, I nearly lost the will to lose weight!!

For Person 1, which is me, I duly put in my height, age and gender and then tried to put in my fitness setting - I think at this point, the scales gave up as I could not put this in, however hard I tried.

Stand still - don't move - arghhhh it's lost all the programming - OK take a deep breath and start again - check the manual then stand on, stand off, stand in the right place on the silver parts of the scale surface - this is necessary to check my BMI etc - and although I did all this, I was rewarded with just a blank screen - is this ever going to work? Perhaps the cheap battery I bought isn't "man enough" or in my case "woman enough" for the job!

I rapidly lost patience but the bonus was I obviously did enough exercise to lose 2lbs!!! Well that's the way to go then - 7 times a day stand on, stand off, stand on - and by my calculations 7 x 2 = 14 - so 1 stone lost in a day! This FAST diet obviously works!!!

If only it were that easy - but I WILL keep going and I know my knees and ankles will be much better if I can get the number on the scales down - and I guess that's what the doctor will tell me when I get the result of my ankle x-ray later this week.

Will any of my family or friends love me more if I weigh less? I don't think so and I hope not, but I will love myself more! One thing I do know is that God says to me "I have loved you with an everlasting love" and that definitely does NOT depend on what I do or what I weigh.

I console myself with this thought:

My smile is my best feature and smiles don't get fat!"

So - watch this space but I'll try not to bore you!

P.S. I think possibly the D should stand for Duvet Day - just had a great lie-in after our tiring weekend but won't mention the time!