The Heartbeat of Running

I "should have" gone down to Harriers tonight to run, but really wanted to get out on my own. Not running much with rib breaks, puppy time and knee problems. Reading about chapter 3 of Mark Rowlinsons book on running and if I'd had his eloquence writing I could have written this one myself.

The thing I love about running most of all is what I've previously called head space. Today I set off for my run with no great plan, just to run up til I was at the top then sometime later run back down. Initially I was thinking it would be nice to run with the puppy (but I need to be patient and let her bones grow a bit stronger) then I stopped thinking about her. That's the near the essence for me, I always set off with stuff on my mind, thoughts that hold me, drag me, and then in the running, the rhythm of the footfall, the breathing, the wind, the rain, my heartbeat I find that thinking slowly ebbs. Sometimes I find myself cut off even from the effort of running, those that run with me might see me having seemed to have been struggling a few minutes ago, suddenly be striding out ahead, they think I'm sure that I'm putting in an effort, but in reality there is no effort fulness in those moments. Then (and this is something that Mark has identified for me) after the thinking stops thoughts come.

I'm clear that running for me is fitness, watching the weight, loving the outdoors, companionship, endorphins and other buzzy effects, but the hearbeat of it all is this shedding the stuff and sometimes dissociating enough to have fresh and relevant and grounding and transformational thoughts. (interestingly my spiritual practice of prayer finds it's most helpful engagement in this place too). The renewal that this is for me is evident. My work is full on with communication and thinking and problem solving and organising and emotional engagement. When I run then I return to my work so much more present.

Tonight for the first time in ages I found the heartbeat of running.