You Won't See Me

I've had this artwork
hanging on my wall for yonks
but when I took it along
to the Antiques Road Show (my,
that Fiona Bruce is slender and tall) I
had high hopes, as I stood there,
face to face with an expert,
the cameras rolling, that
he'd tell me, after a bit of faffing
and condescending chit-chat,
that it was worth a small fortune.
I leaned in only to learn
from the learned gentleman
that these prints! are two a penny
and it won't earn me a dime.
'I was robbed,' I joked. 'I paid
25 quid for mine.' He laughed.
Ever the showman, I faced the camera
and gave a cheeky grin.
Good TV eh? Except, I watched
the programme -
the bastards didn't keep me in.


You Won't