Horses - overrated

A horse incident - all turned out well, but honestly - horses are just more trouble than they're worth.

Buy a big pile of horse manure. Move it from one side of the garden to the other side with a wheel barrow in the morning. Move it back in the evening.

Do that every day of the week.

Then on Saturdays, take a massive pile of fivers and set fire to them in the middle of the grass.

You've just recreated owning a horse.