Birthday advice.

When your mother asks, ''Do you want a piece of advice?'' it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no, you're going to get it anyway.

-- Erma Bombeck


It's my Mum's 65th birthday.

If I was to offer her a piece of advice it would either be to (a) only go caravanning where there is a phone signal, or (b) remember to pack the phone charger.

I really don't know which piece of advice she needs, but I can't get hold of her and I'm pretty sure she'd like me to wish her a Happy Birthday on her actual birthday, so ...