Tuesday

Last night was awful. I got really agitated and didn't want to be in the flat. Went out for a walk and walked for 3.5hrs and 12miles. All the while thinking negative thoughts. I eventually gave in and sat at the harbour at d 11.30pm wanting to walk into the water and disappear. I phoned the hospital 24 hr phone line and spoke to someone. She encouraged me to go home but I wasn't ready. I ended up walking again and they phoned me several times. 
Got home took meds and tried to sleep.

This morning had a visit from psych nurse, talked about the dbt skills and looked at the 'creating positive experiences' one. 

Later met Mum. Big mistake. The outcome of that was me sitting in the park for 4hrs after it in tears, again phoning the hospital for support.